The Big Chop: Style Wins

“A woman who cuts her hair is about change her life.” – Coco Chanel

Hmmmm. Okay Coco.

Truth is, I don’t know exactly what lead me to do “the big chop” this second time around (several years later).  It was actually one of the furthest decisions from my mind and to be honest, it was not something I would’ve even considered doing during the winter.

Those who know me or have followed me on social media for some time, know that I absolutely LOVE changing my hair styles.  Those who know me personally know that that I have a serious weakness for some extensions or a great sew-in.  A great protective style, to be exact.

In retrospect, I realized that during 2017, I was hiding behind the hairstyles and talking myself out of taking the leap and chopping it all off.  I knew that the my hair wasn’t as healthy as it once was, and that a fresh cut was so necessary. But I just couldn’t push myself to do it.  At one point I told myself that I would cut my hair the minute I got back down to my normal weight.  Simply put, I was afraid to bare it all and show myself completely, after noticing the fluctuation in my weight (FYI … this post is not about dealing with weight loss/gain.  That’s a “whole” different lifestyle post).

After deciding to do the big chop (on February 21st), I felt a sense of liberation and freedom that I didn’t quite expect. Carefree vibes.  A new confidence that impacted the way I approached my days, my style, my work, as well as my commitment to getting back to my “personal best” with fitness again.  I felt so good and so motivated.

Flash forward approximately one month.  I was leaving a work event in D.C. and preparing to meetup with a fellow creative for dinner and some business planning.  Midway there, I ran my fingers through my hair and noticed that at the crown of my head, the hair was drastically thin, almost nonexistent.  I made a quick call to reschedule plans and headed home in a hurry.  Upon arrival home, I could not believe my eyes.

*nonstop tears*

About a 2-inch diameter of hair on the crown of my head was thinning so badly that it appeared to be almost bald.  Like WTH.  My hair was there yesterday or was it?  How? I had styled my hair earlier that morning and it seemed normal or was it?  When did this happen?  Was it stress or something else that caused the hair loss.  Why me?  I had just made a huge decision to start anew with a fresh natural cut, only to end up losing hair unexpectedly.

I immediately did what I’d like to think other naturalistas might have done too.  I got myself together, grabbed for my bottle of Jamaican castor oil and began to massage the section affected.  What in the world!?  How could I have not noticed this?

I sought out the expert opinion of a licensed dermatologist and also consulted with my physician, who preliminarily concluded that it was due to stress.  Severe stress.   Whether I was aware or not … I was stressed.

But I began to view the situation as simply a mirror of reflection.  An alert.  A wake up call to acknowledge that I wasn’t taking care of myself and confronting some issues that were affecting me on the job the weeks prior to.  I, like many other women and men, was internalizing experiences at work that I allowed to stress me out so much, that it was now taking a toll on my well-being.  And this was not option.  I immediately addressed the issue(s) at work and took steps to ensure that my emotional and mental health were prioritized as highly as my commitment to physical health.  Yoga and meditation were added back to my schedule and I took an added step with counseling therapy.  I got past the stigma of therapy.  Quickly.

As for my hair loss, there has been some progress but my doctors are still testing and monitoring (progress pics and updates to follow). As traumatic as this discovery was for me, I reminded myself that it could have been worse.  Stress is directly linked to heart health and high blood pressure, which runs in my family.  More specifically, my father suffered a heart attack last year.  So yeah, this could be worse.

But there’s always a greater message in our struggle(s).  Better yet, there’s always the choice to find joy in even the most difficult times.  It feels like from the start of my blog, I’ve had so many trials (past and present) that attempted to hinder my progress and my personal growth.  But God! And yet style …

Along with a strong sense of faith and an amazing support system, I am grateful for my passion for fashion and style.  Getting dressed up and styling outfits for work, travel, events, etc., continued to be an additional source of motivation and inspiration throughout this scary experience.  Fashion gave me confidence and style was extra therapy.  With every look, I chose to re-channel that confidence I felt after “the big chop” and carry on knowing that I am more than the hairstyle(s) I rock, the hair on my head, or the hair I’ve lost.

I was reminded of neo-soul artist, India Arie’s lyrics:

“I am not my hair.  I am not this skin … I am the soul that lives within.”

So Coco Chanel was right.

I cut my hair off and my life changed.

Shop My Looks

Floral blazer jacket (on clearance) here

Gingham plaid blazer here

Nude pumps here

All earrings here