Hello FLLS Fam!  I hope this finds you in the best of health and in good spirit.

I know, I know … this is starting to feel like a pattern in our relationship.  So, I show up for a little bit and then I leave for a little bit.  I assure you that I’m going to do better.  But what’s the point of us being virtual family, if we can’t be honest with each other.  So I’m just going to say it.  2020 just won’t quit!  It’s the ongoing chaos and unpredictability, for me.  I mean, this year won’t let up.  Like some of you, I am over here just trying to making it through each day without worrying, sulking and crawling up into a corner.

Yet one thing is for sure … so many of us are thinking alike and choosing to focus on the little things.  The little things that bring us joy.  Believe me when I say, that the smile you see above came with a conscious decision to push past all the crap we’ve had to deal with lately.  Sadness, fear, worry, anxiety, confusion, anger, discouragement and uncertainty.  It’s a lot.  Which is why, despite the inconsistency to meet you here in this particular space, I’ve been grateful for the community ties I’ve built with many of you across other social media platforms.  Being inconsistent is definitely not the plan.  Instead, my goal has been to be present, connecting with community, and inspiring wherever I am and however I can.

And in case you and I haven’t connected lately … here’s more on where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to.  Keep reading!

(R to L: wash day & necessary self-care; numb & saddened by the silence of my non-Black peers; Juneteenth pride & reflection)

Global Pandemic | Mental Health | Black Lives Matter

Back in March, life changed for all of us.  We entered a new normal, living in quarantine due to COVID-19, igniting a global pandemic.  I was seemingly okay with staying in and away from the crowds.  But after a while, the isolation began to take a slight toll on me. Read more here.  It all seemed to have come out of nowhere.  Although we later learned that this pandemic was, in fact, no secret to our country’s leadership (and that we were simply left out in the dark).  April was a whirlwind, with ongoing reports of more deaths, spikes in positive COVID cases, increasing unemployment, frustrated consumers hoping to stock up on essentials and the crash of the stock market.  Sigh.

May arrived, marking observation of “Mental Health Awareness” and several of us were openly sharing our feelings, our concerns and checking in on ourselves and each other.  Then there was late and tragic news about the senseless and violent murders of Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor.  Deep sigh.  Then there was George Floyd.  My goodness.  The days were filled with so many emotions and not enough time to process all that was happening.  It felt like we were experiencing two pandemics at once.

I shifted into a period of frustration that had me looking to my non-Black friends and peers to justify their silence.  An awakening, of some sorts.  All of a sudden, I began to question their refusal to educate themselves on issues the Black community continued to face.  I questioned the unwillingness (in that moment) to use their voice(s) and unique privilege to be the change in this seemingly never-ending climate.  I was suddenly aware of some’s failure to speak up about issues that didn’t directly affect them, only to seek my Black perspective when it benefited them.

All the good times … the fun and laughs, the events, conferences and meetups we attended, the brunches, the business collaborations, the creative planning and special milestones celebrated.  None of that mattered, in this moment.  Because I realized that some were pretending that racial injustice, discrimination and oppression, didn’t exist.  I noticed the avoidance, and realized the inconsistency.  I felt sick and tired.

Like Beyonce’s 2016 body of work, “Lemonade,”  I went through a series of different emotions that ultimately concluded with me and my own accountability.  I had to ask one important question.  “Why was I associating with and connected to (even supporting) persons who wouldn’t speak up against the injustices now so blatantly obvious to the entire world?  Or much less be open to having a conversation with me about it.  An awkward dialogue maybe, but one that was necessary.  I was surprised at myself for being too busy to care, too comfortable and too complacent to have not had this revelation sooner.  In the coming days, I’d grow tired of acting like it was okay to ignore, and sick by the idea that people I valued, did not see the value in using their power to be an advocate for my community and I.

And so, I took to social media to express all of the above – but not without a sincere thank you.  I took a moment to thank every friend, follower and brand that stepped up and used their voice/platform to talk about the work necessary to evoke change and educate others on new ways of thinking.  It’s not easy to stand alone (in opposition) for what you believe in, nor is it easy to inspire others to break the cycle.  I shared that by stepping up, it elevated the level of respect I had for each of them, and it motivated me to be more optimistic about the collective journey moving forward.  For progress is better than none at all.

FLLS family … let me pause here, and take a moment again to express how inspired I’ve been by so many of you during this unprecedented year.  Several of you have not ceased in using your voices, platforms and interactions to incite and evoke change.  And I feel that there’s just something different happening right now.  And as Former President, Barack Obama stated, “there is a change in mindset that’s taking place and a greater recognition that we can do better.”  I am seeing an unapologetic commitment by many of you to become the change you want to see, and I love and respect it.

Moving forward …

(R to L: motivational chat with “bae;” a moment of joy after receiving good news; post-workout reflection & tea)

2020 Just Won’t Quit … Neither Will I

I was so busy microblogging on Instagram, using my platform and voice to [help] bring about civil change (and encourage voter education), that creating blog content came to a pause.  It’s crazy that sometimes we neglect doing the thing that make us happy or that relieves stress, just to focus on doing the job, the necessary work or the things deemed more important.

I mean, we did have that good old self-care talk back in January right?  And then, there was the reaffirmation shortly after the pandemic began (that I mentioned earlier).  So, I’d say we are clear on the importance of self-care and taking time away for ourselves.  But this blog began as a form of self-care.  It was like creative therapy and a personal escape for me, after my father passed away.  Therefore, despite any setbacks and elongated absence, I have rededicated myself to remain focused on why I started.   There’s been so much growth since it’s inception and this year has yielded endless reflections to share with you here.

2020 won’t seem to quit, but neither will I.

(R to L: running errands with mask in hand ; sharing Sunday morning gratitude; embracing my new green thumb)

Quarantine Life | Where I’ve Been | What I’ve Been Up To

For the most part, quarantine life has been good.  Better than I initially imagined it would be.  Let me say this.  I know what it feels like to be unemployed for an extended period of time, and I also know what it feels like to be waiting for a call back after the interview.  So my love and sincerest prayers go out to any one who has been impacted by this pandemic.  I want you to know that things will get better, in due time.  Just keep trusting and believing.  Keep finding moments to be grateful because gratitude is the one action that can change everything.  Stay active or busy, and find things to do that bring you joy.

During the onset of our new world, I created what I like to call a “soul list” for myself each week.  This list includes only the things that I feel excited about doing that day, in addition to a few daily staples in my regimen.  An example of this includes but is not limited to: starting my day with devotional and morning prayer, yoga and meditation, a hot cup of green tea or gourmand flavor coffee, family FaceTime check-ins, self-check ins, motivational chats with the “bae,” an outdoor jog/exercising, cooking and meal prep, gardening and discovering my green thumb, crafting session with my girlfriends, home organization, or a fun DIY project.  I also indulge in what I call “free DM therapy” with my instastory tribe over on Instagram (@faithlovelifeandstyle).  Shout out to them for engaging me in enlightening conversations and weekly doses of comedic laughs.

When asked, where have I been over the past months, I say “absolutely nowhere and I’m loving it.”  I’ve gotten to a point where I am extremely grateful for this slower pace, we’ve all been forced to accept.  Travel will eventually come around and when it does, I’ll be ready.  I mask up and get out when needed to clear my mind and catch some Vitamin D.  I have also limited my news intake to once every other day.  Repeatedly getting back to doing what brings me joy.  Making time to release.  Enforcing balance.  Getting lots of rest.  Tuning out the noise.  Approaching long works days with gratitude.  Making 3 miles a fixed appointment.  Enjoying established self care regimens and sticking to them.  Indulging in old/new hobbies that make me smile.  Taking it all in, one day at a time and quietly celebrating self-growth.  I call this progress.

Let’s continue to do what makes our soul happy.  Sending you love, light and virtual hugs from afar.

Love and light,

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